An eventful (read: exhausting) and memorable week ahead with K2 graduation, P1 orientation and year-end performances happening for 我家的两个小瓜. Yes, I’m still solo-parenting. Yes, I would love for their Dad to be around for these but it’s unfortunate that his work travels are at its peak season during this time of the year, all these years.
Nonetheless, I take heart in the fact that if he could, he would definitely be part of these. I’m bummed of course, but I’m no longer resentful of our situation. Parenting (married, or not) is a partnership. It is our responsibility as the adults in the family to do our best for the kids.
Will my kids be happier if Daddy is around to watch their performances? Yes.
Does it mean that Daddy loves them less if he’s not around to watch their performance? No.
Does it mean that Daddy is less proud of them if he’s not around for their graduation? No.
Does it mean they will get a bigger present because of Daddy’s guilt? Probably. 😁
I’ve come to realise how critical a role the present parent plays in positioning the absent parent. How I keep the absent parent updated about the kids, no matter how small the matter may be, helps the absent parent stay involved and the kids to feel their importance. They love that their Dad is able to catch up with whatever they are going through right away when he returns from a work trip. I kinda spoil the surprise for them sometimes cos I might have unknowingly spilled the beans in my daily updates. But in my defence, I wasn’t let in on the plans they had!
So yea, I’m trying to put our circumstances to good use by training the kids to be a little more hardy and not make it a big deal if their Dad is not around to witness their milestones. He makes his presence count whenever he’s with them. And that matters more, isn’t it? Besides, 他们还有妈妈我啊! 😊